guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
