I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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