Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I just cut my nipple shaving
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
FUCK WHALES
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
