from now on my penis is your penis
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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