Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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