I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm sobbing to NWA
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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