just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
