The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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