Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
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