he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
