Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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