Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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