i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
