It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
