so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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