You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
