Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
organizing the empties. That sober.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
