If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Randomize