She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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