just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
