Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Apparently you make a good broom.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
