Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
