You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
birth control should be required to get into college
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
