She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
