then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
