In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
