On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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