This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
