I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
