I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
