i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
