My boss' voice literally gives me gas
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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