at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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