Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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