he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
