you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
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