oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize