She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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