He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
