I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
