My pussy is not your playground.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize