all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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