i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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