she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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