My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
