i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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