i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
