it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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