dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
