I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
