Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
