We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
