No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
