No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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