If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
