I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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