47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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