I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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