...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
