that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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